The European Championship Mascot Rankings
The only pre-Euros content you need
On the eve of football’s 17th European Championships and with tournament and squad previews peppering all corners of the internet, it felt time to address the real pre-tournament concern – the ranking of the Euros mascots throughout history.
Although the first European Championships were held in 1960, it wasn't until 1980 that the first Euros mascot was unveiled, meaning there have now been 12 in the tournament’s history. So without further ado, it’s time for the rankings.
Numbers 12-8: The horrid little boy era
For 16 years (2004-2020) the world of Euros mascots was plagued by a succession of creepy cartoon children, horrid little boys who threatened to ruin the entire vibe of the tournament. They are ranked as follows.
12: EURO 2020: Skillzy
The last and therefore the worst of the era, ‘Skillzy’ was supposed to be a freestyle footballer (irrelevant to actual football which also counts against him) The nadir of the genre.
11: EURO 2016, France: Super Victor
How did France follow up three successive tournaments of horrid little boy-themed mascots? They whipped out their own - Super Victor. Plus points for the inclusion of a cape, huge, huge minus ones for unoriginality and the fact that he looks like one of the creepy children in Toy Story.
10: EURO 2012, Poland-Ukraine: Slavek and Slavko
Twin hosts, twin mascots – simple right? Unfortunately for Slavek and Slavko, they lose points for unoriginality as they came four years after Austria and Switzerland had pulled exactly the same ploy. Also they look like cress heads that have had traumatic brain injuries.
9: EURO 2008, Austria-Switzerland: Trix and Flix
The original joint host creepy twin mascot combo, Trix and Flix get bonus points for their rhyming football-related names and don’t lose too many for being relatively early on in the horrid little boy era
8: EURO 2004, Portugal: Kinas
The creepy child that launched a thousand (six) imitators Kinas was at least original at the time and gains points for his name being a play on the five shields, or quinas, on Portugal’s crest. Fairly uninspiring overall though.
7. EURO '96, England: Goaliath
Finally we reach the more palatable section of the rankings and we start with England’s effort from Euro 96. There’s nothing overly wrong with Goaliath, as epitomised by the so-so pun of his name, there’s just not all that much to write home about either. Also has to be said that he gives off a slightly too earnest/little bit of a simpleton vibe.
6. EURO 2000, Netherlands-Belgium: Benelucky
On paper this is how to do a joint host mascot, Benelucky’s name a play on the Benelux region that hosted the tournament and being part Red Devil, part lion, he was a combo of Belgium and the Netherlands’ nickname and symbol. There is however something slightly too ‘cleverly over-engineered by an expensive marketing agency’ about him that makes Benelucky a little hard to truly love.
Numbers 5 and 4: Years of the Rabbit
5: EURO '92, Sweden: Rabbit
Sweden lose serious points for simply following the West German rabbit of four years before with another rabbit – arguably laying the curséd groundwork for the horrid little boy era to come – and even more points for just calling their mascot ‘Rabbit’. In fact on reflection there may need to be some sort of investigation as to how he managed to rank so highly on this list. The entire integrity of the rankings may well be in question
4: EURO '88, West Germany: Berni
His name a slightly sucky-up pun on the city of Berne where the UEFA headquarters were at the time, nevertheless Berni launched the Euros’ rabbit mascot era, and provided the headband and double sweatband combo design that Sweden so egregiously copied four years later.
3. EURO 2024: Albärt
Now we’re into the real business end of things… This year’s mascot, Albärt, thankfully ended the creepy child era and perhaps as a result finds himself immediately catapulted into the top three. A bear whose head appears to be too big for his body in a sort of endearing Humpty Dumpty-ish way, hopefully this marks the start of a return to form for Euros mascots.
2. EURO '84, France: Peno
Perfect name, perfect design. This is how to do a mascot. Unfortunate not to win but sometimes you lose to the better man on the day.
1. EURO '80, Italy: Pinocchio
The first Euros mascot and still yet to be toppled from his perch. In the words of Barry Davies: “Look at his face, just look at his face.” The little ‘Europa 80’ hat, the Italy flag nose, the football. Perfetto
